I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i think i have herpe
just one?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He did a backflip because drugs
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
