I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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