yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Randomize
