my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
