Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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