Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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