im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
