Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
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I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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