Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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