I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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