What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
