im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
