Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
