I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
