Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
