Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
