I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
