I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
