The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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