Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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