You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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