..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
