community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
