I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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