That's when you crack a 10am beer
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
