the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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