Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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