she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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