I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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