i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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