she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
