I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
