508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
