Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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