my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize