Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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