the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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