We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
