Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
