a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
