I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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