I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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