I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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