Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was like eating out sand paper
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
