Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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