I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
