I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
