I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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