My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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