I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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