Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
