That's intense
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
