I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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