is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Im part way to drunk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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