Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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