yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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