My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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